


Too Young

by Shaz27



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakup, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 07:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20720480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaz27/pseuds/Shaz27
Summary: After two long years of silence, after two long years of missing him, after two long years of not seeing his face, Louis was now standing in the same room as Harry.Or: the one where Louis hurts Harry before Harry could hurt him and then regrets itInspired by Louis’ songs Too Young, Habit and Defenceless





	Too Young

Wednesday was just another day for Harry. He woke late as usual, ran a few errands, tried to write some songs before heading to the pub for his usual gig. He’d been playing at this pub for a few years now and enjoyed every minute of it. He was popular with the regulars as he was quick to learn what songs the crowd responded well to and he changed his playlist accordingly. During the week he ends up playing mainly acoustic 70’s and 80’s ballads, but come the weekend, he always kicks it up a notch to more recent and upbeat music to cater to the younger audience and the happy weekend vibe. Niall always joins him on stage on Friday and Saturday nights, the two of them gaining quite a cult following, pulling in bigger and bigger crowds every week.  
Tonight he was playing the piano and singing to the small crowd scattered around the pub. Looking around, Harry found he recognised most of the faces. They were predominantly regulars - lonely business men who either didn’t want to go home or didn’t have anything to go home to. Instead, they came in to drown their sorrows over a few pints, listen to some songs and bond over their loneliness.  
His gaze lands on Niall, who is currently standing behind the bar trying to convince one of the more drunken men that maybe they’d had enough to drink tonight. He caught Niall’s eye and gave him a wink before smiling fondly and dropping his eyes back to the piano keys.  
Niall is a rare and precious human. He can bring a smile to any person no matter how bad their mood is and is one of the reasons why a lot of these lonely hearts keep coming to the pub, drawn to his quick wit and warm and friendly nature. Niall was also the reason why Harry didn’t self destruct 2 years ago. He had been his bartender when Harry had decided it would be a good idea to drink himself to oblivion every night to try and numb the pain of a particularly bad breakup. The drinking didn’t help, but Niall did. He would patiently listen while Harry poured his drunken heart out night after night, while offering up the occasional tidbits of advice, a few laughs and a warm shoulder to cry on. Harry eventually stopped the heavy drinking but still came to chat to Niall. Niall’s happy go lucky attitude and general happiness was contagious and Harry was powerless to resist his Irish charm. Harry smiled fondly as he thought back to the reason why he had secured a job here. One night he and Niall were competing over who could balance more coins on their elbow, the loser having to get up on the stage and sing. Harry had lost the bet, but he won the attention of the owner who promptly offered him a job. When Niall’s next door neighbour moved out, Harry moved had moved in and they’d been best mates ever since. Harry was grateful because he had lost most of his friends when he moved to this side of London after his boyfriend so cruelly cut him out of his life.

Harrys mind drifted back to that fateful night 2 years ago, a scene he has played on repeat in his mind ever since. Harry had just walked into their bedroom to find Louis sitting on the bed with his head buried in his hands. He didn’t look up when Harry walked into the room.

“Louis, what wrong?” Harry quietly asked 

“I can’t do this anymore” Louis had said. 

“Can’t do what?” Harry asked. 

“This” Louis said scraping his small hands over his unshaven face.

“This what?” asked Harry, although he already knew the answer

“Us.” Whispered Louis. 

Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a breaking glass. He was just finishing the last chords of the song as he looked up to see where the commotion was coming from. He first saw Niall rushing to get something to clear up the broken glass with and then his eyes locked with the man who had dropped the glass on the floor. Harry felt the impact of the eye contact like a punch to the gut. All of his breath left his lungs in a rush and he couldn’t make his rib cage work to replace the lost air. He felt tears spring to his eyes, threatening to overflow, and he suddenly felt like he was going to throw up the beer he drank before his set. After two long years of silence, after two long years of missing him, after two fucking long years of not seeing his face, Louis was now standing in the same room as Harry. 

—————-  
Never thought that giving up would be so hard  
But God, I'm missing you  
And your addictive heart

Louis couldn’t believe his fucking eyes. Sitting right in front of him was the man that he loved more than anything. It felt like he’d been hit with a freight train. Harry looked beautiful was the thing. So stunningly beautiful Louis felt his eyes burn and his heart race dangerously in his chest and he just couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Harry and Louis had once had a beautiful relationship. It was all fire and heat which burned so bright in the 3 years that they were together they were blinded by it. They were each other’s world and they were inseparable. They had moved into a little apartment complex at Princess Park in London when they were just 18 and spent every single day together. Their eyes constantly searching for the other, always needing to have some part of themselves touching when they were close. A brush of hands as they passed, knees and thighs pressed together while watching tv on the couch, Louis’ hand on Harrys back when they were walking through crowds. Their infatuation for each other shined out of them so hard, that everybody could see it. But despite their obvious love most people had warned them that it was just puppy love and it wouldn’t last because they were too young to know what real love was. 

Louis had eventually started to believe what everyone was telling him was true, that they were too young and their love would never last. His lows became really low, and his mind was spinning out of control. The thing was, Louis was scared. Scared that their love had an expiry date. Scared of the intensity of his love for Harry. Scared that he was going to mess it all up. Scared that Harry would find someone better and leave him alone and most of all scared that Harry had the power to hurt him more than anyone else on the planet. The only way Louis could see that he would survive losing Harry was to cut Harry out of his life first, leave Harry before Harry could leave him. That way Louis could control the hurt, protect his fragile heart and maybe, just maybe, survive, so that’s exactly what he did.

It didn’t work. Harry was like an addiction he just couldn’t break. He tried going to nightclubs and pubs almost every night, drinking til he was off his face, pretending he was happy and enjoying the bad boy single lifestyle he had made for himself and that everything was great, but when the lights came on and the drinking stopped, all he wanted was Harry. He missed the absolute shit out of him. 

He’d spent countless sleepless nights staring at his phone, willing Harry to call, but the phone remained stubbornly silent. He’d spent many more nights with his finger hovering over Harry’s number wanting to call just to hear his voice, to say sorry, to ask for him for a second chance, to say anything really - but he never pressed the call button. So instead, he wallowed in his own self pity, regretting what he had done every second of every day but never having the courage to do anything about it. 

For some reason the Gods must have taken pity on him because fate had now stepped in and presented Louis with Harry.

———————-  
Give me some morphine  
Take my pain away

It only took one second of laying his eyes on Louis to feel every single stitch that he’d put into his broken heart tear apart at the seams, creating mangled ruins in his chest. Harry somehow managed to drag in a tiny bit of air, which was enough to get his limbs working. He slammed his hands on the piano keys as he stood up causing an unpleasant discord of notes, but he didn’t have it in him to care. All he wanted to do was get out of the room and fast. Niall looked up at the noise to see Harry fleeing from the room.  
“What the fuck?...” he mumbled before pushing past a stunned Louis to go and find out what was wrong. He found Harry out in the small office at the back of the bar, sitting in the corner with his legs pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his shins and his head on his knees. Niall approached Harry like he would a startled animal. 

“Harry?” Niall said quietly. “Are you ok?”

Harry’s breaths were coming in short sharp ragged gasps, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t take a proper breath. His vision was beginning to blur alarmingly and whatever air that he was dragging in was burning his throat. 

“Shit, Harry...Haz...” Niall walked over crouched down and put a warm hand on Harrys shoulder, rubbing gently.

“Haz?” Niall asked again when Harry didn’t answer “Tell me what’s wrong. You’re kind of scaring me here”

Harry couldn’t answer. All he could hear was static noise roaring in his ears and jumbled words that he couldn’t understand.

“Haz, you need to breathe for me”

Just then, Niall noticed there was someone walking over to Harry. 

“Hey, you can’t be back here mate, you need to leave”. Niall said standing up to block the mans path.

“I can help him” the man said, nodding towards Harry

Niall looked between the man and Harry before his worry for Harry won out.

“Do it” said Niall

The man bent down and put a small hand on Harry’s neck. “Harry, you need to breathe love. Look at me” 

“Shit” the man mumbled under his breath when he got no response from Harry. He started to pull Harrys fingers off his legs before kneeling beside the panicking man. He finally pried his arm free and placed Harrys hand over his own chest near his heart. 

“Concentrate on my breathing Haz, in and out, in and out” The man was taking exaggerated breaths to try and get Harry to follow. “Come on love, you can do it. Breathe in and out, in and out just like I’m doing”

Eventually Harrys breathing started to come back to normal and his vision began to clear, the fog in his brain lifting with each breath. He became aware of his hand on someone’s warm chest, feeling them breathe deeply, and another warm hand on the back of his neck. It felt familiar and calming.  
Harry finally raised his head and looked over at the man kneeling next to him

“Louis?” Harry rasped

“Fuck” said Niall

———————-

Harry quickly scrambled away from Louis, stumbling to his feet as he headed for the door, eyes wild. 

“I - I - can’t ....” Harry stammered before fleeing the room

Niall turned his angry gaze to Louis

“What the fuck?”

Louis stood up from his crouched position and extended a hand to Niall “I’m Louis”

“I know exactly who the fuck you are Louis Tomlinson” Niall sneered as he slapped Louis’ extended hand away “What the fuck is going on here?”

“That was a panic attack” Louis said much more calmly than he felt, dropping his hand back by his side. 

“I know what that was.” Nail said waving his hands wildly in the direction of where Harry used to be “Harry used to have them all the time....” The because of you was implied, but Louis heard it all the same. “That’s not what I was asking. I meant what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I - I didn’t know he worked here”

“Like fuck you didn’t. Look Harry has just got his life back on track and I will not have you waltz in here and fuck him up all over again”

Louis was kind of glad that Niall was yelling at him. He deserved it after all and he was happy that Harry had someone in his corner standing up for him. 

“That wasn’t my intention...”

“I don’t fucking care what your intention was” Niall interjected “just get out of here and leave Harry alone”

Louis would never admit it but he was kind of intimidated by the cold glare in Niall’s blue eyes. 

“Do you think I could just have a quick chat to him?” Louis asked carefully. “I think we have some unfinished business to take care of”

“Unfinished business my fucking arse. You are not to come anywhere near him, do you hear me?”

Louis dropped his gaze and nodded. “I guess I’ll just get out of your way then”. 

Louis snuck past Niall timidly and headed back out to the pub. He looked around for Harry but he was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and walked out into the cool night air, and that’s when the shaking started, adrenaline flooding his system. “Fucking hell” Louis swore as he moved to lean against the wall of the pub fearing his legs were going to give out. His hands were trembling so badly he couldn’t manage to light the cigarette he had pulled from his pocket, so he threw it on the ground instead. Laying eyes on Harry after all this time was incredibly overwhelming. All of his love for him came rushing back to him, filling his withered and broken heart and bringing it back to life.  
Louis took a few deep breaths trying to steady the shaking. Of all the pubs he could have walked into, it was this one. The one that was hiding the love of his life. Louis took this as a sign and decided there and then that he would come back tomorrow to try to talk to Harry - to try and get him back.

———————

Been up all night  
Not sure how to say this right  
Got so much to lose

Louis tossed and turned most of the night. He was just so frustrated because he still had no idea how to fix something that was so broken - that he had broken.  
Louis finally gave up on sleep and dragged himself out of the rumpled sheets. He staggered into the bathroom for a pee before stripping off his T-shirt and boxers to jump in the shower. He caught sight of his face in the mirror and was astounded with how bad he looked. There was deep bruising under his eyes from the lack of sleep, his hair was standing on end and he looked paler than he been in a long while. He scrubbed his hands over his stubble before turning his back on his reflection and jumping into the shower. As the hot water cascaded over his back, Louis thought back to the end of their relationship. Louis had started pulling away a few months before he finally cut it off, a futile effort to try and build a wall around his heart to protect him from the hurt. Their conversations became more and more stilted with silence becoming the most predominant sound in the house where it used to be giggles and laughter. The tiny touches stopped, the eye contact stopped and neither of them wanted to start a conversation because Louis always found a way to turn it into argument. Louis hated himself for it. While Louis was the one to instigate the pull away, Harry did nothing to stop it, not once asking Louis if they were ok, never saying how he really felt. It hurt Louis so much to pull away and to see the pain on Harrys face, but he was convinced he was doing it for Harry. Harry deserved to be fully loved by someone better than him, someone that could offer him more than puppy love 

________________

You just keep on building up your fences  
But I've never been so defenceless

Harry dragged his tired body back to the pub the next night. He had slept fitfully, his mind never stopping the spiral it was in. Niall had tried to contact him a number of times throughout the night but Harry ignored every call and text. Louis had completely broken Harry when he cut him off and it took a lot to get back to the point of being ok. One glimpse of Louis had caused everything to come crashing back down which only proved to Harry that Louis really messed him up. He was really not fine at all.

Harry opened the door of the pub and was greeted with “You look like shit man”.

Harry snorted. “Thanks for the encouragement Niall” 

“No problem” Niall winked. “Truely though, you don’t look great. How bad is it?” 

“It’s pretty bad” Harry admitted. “What the fuck was he doing here?”

“I asked him the exact same question. Claimed he didn’t know you worked here. I kicked him out though, told him to never come back again” Niall said proudly. 

“Thanks Niall, whatever would I do without you?”

“No idea, probably wither and die!” quipped Niall.

Harry scoffed before moving over to the stage area. He was going to play the acoustic guitar tonight, the Thursday crowd still pretty subdued. He was busy setting up his mic when he heard the pub door open. 

“I thought I told you never to come back” he heard Niall say. Harry looked up to find Louis standing at the door staring at Harry. 

Niall started to make his way over to Louis. “Hey!” He said slapping Louis on the arm when he didn’t answer “What part of don’t come back did you not understand?”

“I just want to talk to him” Louis said, finally dragged his eyes away from Harry to address the angry Irishman. 

“Well he doesn’t want to talk to you” Niall said

Louis eyes snapped back over to Harry “Is that true Harry?” He asked, ignoring Niall.

Harry was still staring at Louis, unmoving. The thing was, Harry thought Louis looked gorgeous. He was obviously tired with those big circles under his eyes, but looking past all that, he was still gorgeous. Harry could see the pleading in his eyes even from this distance and he just looked so...vulnerable. Harry was just about to reply in the negative when Niall replied for him

“It’s true” Niall stated

“I’d like to hear an answer from Harry if that’s ok with you” Louis said snarkily 

“No that’s not ok with me” Niall said, placing his hands on his hips. 

“Harry?” Louis pressed 

Harry was conflicted. He didn’t really think he could handle talking with Louis, but at the same time he wanted to hear what he had to say. He had always had trouble saying no to Louis and it seems that hasn’t changed in two years. 

The three of them were standing there in awkward silence. Louis staring at Harry, Harry staring at Louis and Niall darting his gaze between Louis and Harry. Niall finally walked over to Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder making Harry flinch, but it was enough to finally break the intense eye contact with Louis. 

“Harry” Niall said quietly so Louis couldn’t hear. “You don’t have to do this you know. I can kick him out, call the police, do whatever just say the word”

Harry was silent and unmoving, his eyes now fixed on the floor. 

“Harry?” Niall said after Harry had not moved a muscle or indicated that he had heard him.

“It’s ok Niall” Harry whispered. “I’ll give him 5 minutes”

“Haz. Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t owe him anything. That fucker broke your heart”

“I know Niall, I know I don’t owe him anything, but I need to hear what he’s got to say...for me Niall, not for him.”

Niall dragged him into a messy hug. “I’ll be right over by the bar. Just say the word and I’ll have him gone.”

“Thanks Niall.” Harry said, patting him on the back.

They broke the embrace and Niall turned his cold eyes onto Louis again. “You have five minutes. I’m watching you Louis. Fuck up and you’re gone for good”

Louis nodded, but never looked away from Harry. “Thankyou” he said in response to Niall, but Harry felt the gratitude was aimed at him. 

Harrys heart rate was skyrocketing as Louis slowly made his way over to him. 

“Hi” Louis said when he got there

“Hi” Harry replied shuffling his feet. 

“How are you?”

“Fine. You?”

“Fine”

Cue awkward silence. Harry looked down at his shoes, unable to keep looking at Louis any more. Louis took the opportunity to look over at Niall who pointed at his eyes before pointing back to Louis. He was definitely watching. Louis cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his fringe, a sure sign he was nervous. 

“It’s good to see you” Louis said quietly

“Wish I could say the same” Harry replied coldly, looking back up at Louis. Harry saw the hurt flash over Louis’ face before he managed to school his face into something more neutral. Good he thought. 

“I guess I deserved that” Louis said before sighing. 

“Yeah” agreed Harry “What do you want Louis?”

“I wanted to say Hi, see how you’re going.”

“Well, now you’ve seen, you can go”

Louis’ face softened, he tilted his head to the side with a small smile playing at his lips “Harry...” he said fondly as he reached out to touch Harrys arm.

Harry jumped back out of his reach. 

“Don’t.....touch me. You don’t have the right to touch me anymore”

Louis dropped his arm back by his side as he took a deep breath. This was not going the way he hoped it would. 

“Look Harry, do you think we could get out of here for a bit. Your bodyguard is glaring at me and it’s kind of creeping me out” Louis said while gesturing over his shoulder at Niall

Harry glanced up at Niall who was indeed glaring a Louis. If looks could kill Louis would be well and truely dead by now.  
Harry’s lips turned up into a little smirk. God he loves Niall. “Niall’s just looking out for me. He was there for me after...well, just after” 

“I’m glad you have a good friend to look after you...he is just a friend right?”

“That’s none of your business Louis, now if you’ve finished I need to get back to work” Harry said waving vaguely to the stage. 

“Oh, yeah right. Ummm, do you think we could meet up maybe tomorrow? I’ve got a few things I’d like to say”

“I don’t know Louis. I have to work tomorrow”

“Before work then? You must have some time for a quick coffee maybe?”

“Times up” boomed Niall from the bar. 

Harry and Louis both looked over at Niall before looking back at each other. 

“Tomorrow?” Louis insisted

Harry didn’t answer straight away. On one hand he would like to see him again. On the other, he should hate Louis, he should say no. He broke his fucking heart after all. He ran his hand through his hair and jumped when Niall yelled “I said, times up Louis!” 

“Harry?” Louis pleaded, his face open

“I’ll meet you at eleven at Starbucks just around the corner” Harry rushed out quietly so Niall couldn’t hear. 

Louis let out a shaky breath “Thankyou Harry, just....thankyou.”

Harry just nodded and dropped his gaze to the floor. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then” Louis said softly before raising his voice and saying with a smirk. “Bye Niall, see you later!” and with that, he left the pub.

———

We're not who we used to be  
We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me  
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

When Harry woke the next morning, he had to admit he was kind of excited and more than a little nervous. Louis still affected him in ways no one else ever has. He had no idea what Louis wanted to talk to him about, but he was hoping it would give him some closure so he could finally move on with his life. He’d spent far too long loving Louis and he needed to stop. Harry scoffed at himself, who was he trying to kid? That’s not what he actually wants. He didn’t think he could ever stop loving Louis. They were soulmates, and their relationship was pure and beautiful until Louis fucked it all up. By the end of their time together it was like there was nothing left of their old selves, they had become unrecognisable strangers living in the same house. Harry had to admit that Louis wasn’t the only one to blame though. Neither of them ever addressed their problems, never said how they really felt, preferring to take the easy option of silence over difficult discussions and they were both stubborn as hell, and although Louis was the one to pull away, Harry had let him do it but now he wished he had fought harder. Although he had barely admitted it to himself Harry had always held on to a tiny bit of hope that they were stronger than all the shit, that their love would be enough, that they could be enough. Seeing Louis again, rightly or wrongly, just fuelled that hope. 

With five minutes to spare, Harry walked into Starbucks and found a table tucked into a quiet corner. Holy hell he was nervous. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and kept his eye on the door. At 11:05 Louis came bursting through the door, eyes wildly looking around the shop. He spotted Harry in the corner, giving him a relieved smile and a tiny wave and rushed over. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late Harry”

“It’s fine Louis, you’re not late”

“I am late. I was worried that you wouldn’t wait for me”

“Of course I would wait for you Louis” Harry said, and he was surprised to find that he meant it. He would wait for Louis forever if he had to. 

Louis gave him a small close lipped smile, and Harry could swear that his eyes were a little shiny. 

Louis cleared his throat “Right, well can I get you a drink?” He asked, gesturing over to the counter. 

“I’d love a tea thanks”

“Coming right up”. Louis said, turning on his heel to make his way to the counter. A few minutes later he came back with two teas and two blueberry muffins. He placed the items down on the table before taking a seat opposite Harry. 

“Thanks” Harry said, leaving his tea to cool a little. He was kind of touched that Louis remembered he loved blueberry muffins, but today he couldn’t really stomach food. He felt slightly nauseated, but he picked at the muffin anyway, just to have something to do with his hands. 

Harry watched while Louis fiddled with his fringe and rubbed his hands together. Such a telltale sign of nervousness thought Harry. 

“You cut your hair” Louis said. Harry self consciously ran a hand through his shorter curls. He had cut his hair off about a month after the breakup. He needed a change. 

“Yeah” Harry deep voice rumbled “I ah- needed a change”

“I like it” Louis said

Harry gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes “Thanks” he mumbled. 

The pressure Louis felt was overwhelming, knowing how much he had to lose if this didn’t go right. Harry had given him this second chance and he couldn’t fuck things up again, he was sure there wouldn’t be a third.  
“Right, so I’m just going to get right into why I asked you here.” Louis suddenly blurted out. “I ummm, I just wanted to say... I’m sorry Harry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you like I did. I’m so sorry that I cut you off like you meant nothing . It was wrong and cruel and heartless”. 

Harry was stunned. That was the last thing that he expected to come out of Louis’ mouth. 

Now that he had started Louis couldn’t stop. He’d had two years to think about this and now he couldn’t wait to get it all out. “I’ve been looking back on a lot of things lately and the thing is, you and me is all I’ve ever known. You’ve always been a part of me and we were good together, perfect even and I just wish I could have seen it all along. We were everything, but I thought that you were too good for me and I was just holding you back and that you deserved better. I’m so sorry for letting you down. We were good together Harry and I was a better person when I was with you. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me. I miss you. I fucking miss you with every fibre of my being”. It came out a bit of a jumbled mess, but Louis was relieved to finally say it. 

Harry drew in a large unsteady breath

“I don’t hate you Louis” Harry whispered. 

“Thank fuck!” Louis exclaimed loudly which pulled a little grin from Harry. 

“And I - uh - I miss you too” Harry said shyly. 

Harry was rewarded with the most brilliant smile from Louis. His eyes lit up and sparkled like a lake on a sunny day. Louis reached over the table and placed his hands on top of Harry’s that were currently shredding a napkin into tiny pieces, effectively stilling them. 

“I was hoping that we could give this another chance” Louis said carefully, looking into Harrys eyes. 

Harry shook his head and looked down at their joined hands. “I can’t live like we were at the end Louis. It can’t go back to that. It was killing me. It was killing you. We’d both given up, we were both already halfway out the door”

“I know, and I’m so sorry that I allowed it to get like that. At the time I couldn’t see passed my own spiralling thoughts, but I think we’ve still got something here Harry. I don’t think our story is finished. We broke Harry, we broke badly, I broke us badly, but I want to fix it. We can learn from our mistakes and fix it, make it better than it ever was. I want you with me Harry. I learned to live without you, but I don’t want to live without you anymore, I still love you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. For me, you’re it. It’s always been you and it will always be you.”

Harry realised he was crying. Big fat tears were dripping down his face and he couldn’t stop them. Louis let go of Harrys hand to thumb over Harrys cheekbone wiping the tears away and Harry couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch. Fuck he’d missed his touch. His small hand felt warm and safe. It felt like home.  
“Louis, this is a lot. I just can’t make that decision now. You’ve given me radio silence for two fucking years and then you come back into my life and say...that. I can’t...I need some time. You need to give me some time to think this over.” 

“Anything Harry. I’d give you anything you want”

Harry was searching Louis’ face, but Louis wasn’t sure what he was looking for. “I’ve ah- I’ve gotta go.” Harry said standing up unsteadily.

Harry hesitated. He extended his hand awkwardly to give Louis a handshake. Louis stood up and moved around the table in front of Harry. He extended his hand and when Harry took it, he used it as leverage to pull Harry in for a hug. Harry was stiff at first, stunned by what Louis had done, but after a few seconds he relaxed. He shouldn’t give in, but damn it felt good. He breathed Louis in for the first time in two years and it was like a balm for his broken heart. Louis tucked his head into the crook of Harrys neck and Harry felt like he could finally take a full breath for the first time in ages. 

“My number is still the same” Louis says into his neck. “Give me a call when you decide”

Louis broke the hug. “I’ll wait for your call”. And with that he was gone.

——————————-  
Cause here we are again, when I loved you so  
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

Harrys mind was spinning. What the fuck just happened? Harry had endured months of the cold shoulder from Louis before they broke up and then nothing, nothing for two whole years. Then he just waltzes back into Harrys life and fucking says all that! Harry ran his shaky hands through his hair and as he brought his hand back down his eye caught a glimpse of his tattoos. Harry held him arm out and examined them like he was seeing them for the first time. The anchor on his wrist, the ship on his arm, the rose on his elbow, the hi on his upper arm. All permanent reminders of what he had with Louis. Fuck, he needed a drink.  
Harry made his way back to the pub to find Niall behind the bar. 

“Hey Harry!” Niall yelled when he saw Harry open the door. 

“Hey Niall” Harry drawled 

“Wow Harry, could you sound more excited to see me do you think?” Niall replied sarcastically. “How did you go with Louis?”

Harrys head snapped up “how did you know about that?”

“I know everything” Niall answered while tapping his skull. “Now, tell your best mate what happened”

Harry retold the story while Niall kept feeding him drinks. By the end of the story, Harry was more than a little tipsy.

“What are you going to do H?” Niall asked when the story was done.

“I don’t knowwww” Harry whined. 

“He broke you Harry. Don’t forget that. He broke your heart and he broke you”

“I couldn’t forget that Niall, I think about it every single day. But he was so open and honest with me, I really believe he is sorry about what he had done.”

“Do you still love him?”

“I think I will always love him. He was my life, my one true love, but I don’t know if I can open my heart up to the pain and heartbreak again if it doesn’t work out. What if it turns out that’s he’s just in love with the memory of what we were rather than what we’ve become. We’ve both changed, we’ve both grown up. How do I know that he loves me for the new me? How do I know that I will love the new him?”

“You can’t Harry. The only way you’ll know that is if you try. And that is one hell of a risk to take.”  
Harry dropped his head down on the bar and groaned. “I don’t know Niall. Tell me what to do”

“I can’t tell you that H. It can only be your decision, but I will support you in whatever that decision is. If you tell him to fuck off and leave you alone, then I’ll make sure he never comes back. If you try again and it all goes well, then I’ll be happy for you. You deserve to be happy Harry. And if it all goes to shit” Niall smirked, “I’ll be here to pick up the pieces” he said, slapping his hand on Harrys shoulder and squeezing. “Just like I did last time”

“I’m so glad I found you Niall. You’re the best mate anyone could have ever asked for” 

“You must be drunk Harry. You only get sentimental when you’re drunk” Niall teased. 

“Heyyyyyy. I’m not drunk, I’m just a little tipsy” Harry scoffed 

“Drunk, tispy. What’s the difference?” Niall shrugged “I cant believe my best mate is drunk at lunchtime”

“Shut up” Harry snapped. “I take it back, you’re not a good friend”

“I can’t believe you’d hurt my feelings like this. After all we’ve been through together!” Niall yelled while dramatically grabbing his chest.

Harry shook his head and smiled. “You’re an idiot!” he said, walking out of the pub.

Just before the door closed, he heard Niall yell

“You’re an idiot” 

Harry cackled. God, he loved Niall. 

———————-

Wish I didn't need so much of you  
I hate to say, but I do

It had been four days and Louis still hadn’t heard anything from Harry. He checked his phone a thousand times a day to make sure it’s not broken, that the volume is up, that silent is off, and that’s it’s still charged just so he doesn’t miss the call, but his phone has remained frustratingly silent. Louis was beginning to think that Harry was never going to call.  
He threw his phone on the kitchen bench while he flicked the kettle on to make a cup of tea. He wandered over to the fridge to get the milk out. He was just sniffing it to make sure it hadn’t gone off when the phone rang.  
“Fuck” he swore as he dropped the milk. What is it with Harry that makes him bloody drop everything. Louis ran through the spilled milk to get to the phone, slipping slightly as he picked it up. 

“Hello?” He said breathlessly

“Boo?” He heard “are you ok? You sound out of breath”

“Mum” Louis said disappointedly. 

“Don’t sound so excited to talk to me Love” his mum scolded

“Sorry Mum, I’ve been waiting for a call and I thought it was them”

“Oooooh. Are you waiting on a call from a pretty boy?” His mum teased

“No mum” Louis lied. “It’s just a...work thing”

“Oh, well that’s not very exciting, but I’ll let you go if you’re waiting on someone more important”

“No mum, no, that’s not what I meant” Louis felt guilty. He hadn’t talked to his mum for a while and it wouldn’t hurt to use the phone for a bit. It wasn’t like Harry was going to call anyway. They ended up chatting for around an hour catching up on each other’s lives, well everything but the Harry thing. Louis didn’t want to mention something that might never happen. His mum had loved Harry and he didn’t want to get her hopes up. 

Louis finally hung up and a few seconds later a text came through. Louis smiled, surely his mum couldn’t have any more to say. He looked at the phone and saw that the text was actually from Harry

I tried to call but your phone has been busy for ages. Could you meet me tomorrow? 5pm, my place? 

Louis stomach rolled. Oh god...

He quickly texted back. Of course. Text me your address. 

________________

Harry was shitting himself. It was fifteen minute til Louis was due and Harry could not sit still, choosing instead to pace around the house. He had spent all day using his nervous energy to clean the house and bake cookies, but now there was nothing left to do but wait, and the waiting was killing him. Harry had spent four agonising days trying to decide what to do about Louis’ confession in the cafe. Could he give Louis another chance? Could he allow Louis to renter his life again, just to have him walk out again? Harry knew he’d never survive another rejection from the man he loved more than anything.  
He had spoken to his sister over the phone every night, trying to get some clarity to his thoughts. Gemma was always a great sounding board. At first she was dead against letting Louis come back into his life, her protective side of her little brother kicking in instantly, but the more they spoke about it, the more she thought Harry should give it a go. Harry clearly still loved Louis and he shouldn’t give up the opportunity to be happy. As scared as he was of getting hurt, Harry had thought the same thing. So here he was pacing nervously waiting for the bell to ring.  
At 5pm exactly, the bell rang and Harrys heart leapt into his throat. He took a steadying breath and walked to the door, which he opened slowly. Seeing Louis standing there took his breath away. Louis had obviously made an effort, dressing in tight skinny jeans that hugged his thighs and butt like a dream, paired with a band T-shirt. His fringe was artfully messy and swept across his forehead. 

“Hi” Louis breathed fiddling with the bottom of his T-shirt

“Hi” Harry answered back just as breathlessly.

They stood staring at each other for a while before Louis cleared his throat and asked “Ah, can I come in?”

That snapped Harry out of his trance. “Shit, sorry. Of course! Come in. I’ve made cookies!”

Louis toed off his shoes at the door and looked around. The flat was cosy and clean, and very Harry. 

“Would you like a cup of tea” Harry asked politely 

“Yeah, that’d be nice”

Harry nodded stiffly and turned to enter the kitchen. Louis hesitated for a second, then followed. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled his nostrils as he entered further into the flat, causing his mouth to water slightly. Lucky, because before he arrived it was dry as hell. Harry wandered over to the kettle and started busying himself making tea. 

“Grab a seat if you like” Harry said gesturing to the kitchen table. “I’ll bring your tea over in a sec”

“Thanks” Louis said, making himself comfortable. Harry worked in silence making the tea, and Louis just watched, unsure of what to say, the silence becoming awkward causing Louis to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Harry finally brought the tea and biscuits over sitting down opposite Louis, their knees accidentally brushing. Harry felt the touch like an electric shock, so he pulled away. 

“So...” Harry said breaking the silence. “How have you been?”

“Ok” Louis said “you?”

“Good” Harry said wrapping his hands around his tea.

Louis nodded twisting his cup around on the table just to have something to do with his hands

“Do you want a biscuit?” Harry asked gesturing to the plate in the middle of the table

“I’d love one” Louis smiled. “I thought you’d never ask! They smell fucking amazing”

Harry smiled, the tension easing a little causing both Louis and Harry to relax a little.

“I ah, guess you are wondering why I asked you here” Harry stated 

“Well, Yeah” Louis said taking a sip of his tea. It was delicious. No one could make his tea as good as Harry.

“Right. Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past four days” Harry drawled out. Louis just wanted to rip the words out of Harrys mouth. The tension was killing him and Harry was talking so damn slow. He nodded encouraging Harry to continue.

“And, well....I’ve decided that I can’t do it Louis”

Louis felt his whole world crash down around his head. Harry wasn’t giving his a second chance. It was over. Louis felt the tears spring to his eyes and his throat close over, making it hard to breathe. Louis stared at Harry shaking his head

“Harry....” Louis said brokenly, a sob escaping his throat. 

“Wait Louis - I haven’t finished”

Louis wasn’t sure he could listen to anymore, and he looked down at the table. 

“Louis, look at me” Harry pleaded

It took all of Louis’ strength to raise his head to look at Harry, and when he did, he saw that Harry was looking at him with a fond smile. 

“I can’t go back to the way we were Louis. We weren’t good for each other at the end, and we were only bringing out the worst in each other. I don’t want that to happen again. I love you Louis, but I need to work out whether that love is going to be enough this time. I need to be sure that the love you have for me will translate over to the new me. We’ve both changed and I need to be sure that it’s actually me you miss and and not just the idea of me before I just jump back into this relationship”

Louis nodded. Harry was actually making a lot of sense. Louis had definitely changed, but he was sure that they could be still great together

Harry continued “Two years is a long time Louis and things have changed, so what I would like to do is date.”

Louis smiled “Date?” He asked

“Date” Harry confirmed with a nod and a cheeky grin. “I would like to date you Louis Tomlinson. Take my time to get to know you again and see if we still fit.” 

Louis was endeared. “I would love to date you Harry Styles” he said with a grin.

_________________________

So Harry and Louis dated. They went out for coffee, they went to the movies and they met up for lunch. Harry was careful to take it very slow. He was determined to get to know Louis again without adding the complication of sex. Harry knew that if they ever jumped back into bed together, he would never be able to let Louis go, their sexual chemistry stronger than ever. Louis was happy to let Harry set the pace and give him the time he needed, never pushing for any thing more. 

The first date was a bit awkward, both still a bit unsure of where they stood and very careful not to say the wrong thing. The second date saw them both relax a little more, but they were still tiptoeing around each other a bit. By the third and fourth date they were falling back in the groove, teasing each other, laughing hard and adding in some of the little touches like they used to do. Harry pressing closer when their knees bumped under the table, purposely brushing arms when Louis opened doors for him, brushing fingers when they handed each other something. But most importantly they talked. They talked about everything they weren’t happy with the last time they were together. They talked about their insecurities, their worries and the reasons why they failed last time, and they worked through it. It was emotionally exhausting at times, but they needed to do it. They needed to say all the things they never said to each other but should have. On the fifth date Harry kissed Louis. It was shy and chaste and sweet, but had an undercurrent of heat, of a promise of things to come. 

Louis came to the pub to watch Harry play on their sixth date. He had arrived with Harry to help him set up and he looked nervously around for Niall. He had admitted to Harry when they were making plans for tonight that he was pretty intimidated by the angry Irishman. Harry had laughed, full on laughed in his face.  
“Niall is one of the friendliest people on the planet” Harry had said. “You’ll end up loving him just like everyone else does”  
Louis didn’t agree. 

Louis breathed a sigh of relief when he realised Niall was nowhere to be seen, and he set about helping Harry set up for the night. He was engrossed in watching Harrys muscles flex beneath his T-shirt as he was unravelling the mic cord when he heard “Tomlinson!” Yelled across the room. Louis turned to see an angry Niall staring at him. Louis turned back to Harry, pleading with his eyes to help, but Harry just smirked at him and continued fiddling with the mic cord. Louis glared at Harry before turning back to Niall. 

“Hi Niall” he said timidly

“I want to talk to you Louis. Get over here” Niall demanded. Louis looked back at Harry, but Harry just gave him an encouraging smile. Louis looked back at Niall and slowly made his way to the bar. 

“Sit” Niall said, gesturing to a stool by the bar. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m good” said Louis

“Too bad, I’m getting you a drink anyway” and with that he poured a pint for the two of then and came back to sit next to Louis. 

“So Louis, I’ve heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with my best mate here” Niall said gesturing over towards Harry. Louis looked over to Harry was had his back to the both of them pretending to ignore the conversation. 

“Yeah” said Louis lamely. He was glad Niall had gotten him a beer, because now he felt like he needed it. He downed a third of it in one go. 

He summoned up the courage to look up at Niall again and when he did he was surprised to find a hint of amusement colouring his face.

“Are you treating him well?” Niall asked

“Yes” Louis stated. 

Niall scratched his chin considering Louis’ response. “Yeah, I think you might be” he finally said. “I’ve never seen Harry so happy. There’s a light in his eyes that I’ve never seen before” 

Louis smiled fondly. He felt like the light was back in his own eyes too. 

“If you continue to be the source of that light, then you can stay.” Niall said leaning in closer to whisper menacingly in his ear “But if you fuck him up again, I’m going to hunt you down and tear you apart piece by painful piece. Got it?”

Louis gulped painfully “Got it” he nodded, downing more of his beer.

Niall leaned back and smiled warmly. “Good. Now that’s done, let’s get pissed!” And with that Niall clinked his glass against Louis’ before downing his pint. “Come on Louis, drink up”

————————

Louis was drunk. Really really drunk. He had tried to keep up with the Irishman but Niall was a machine. A charming, warm and friendly machine just like Harry had said he was. They actually got on like a house on fire laughing loudly over the stupidest things. Harry had watched them fondly during his set catching Louis’ eyes often. When he was done he came over to the bar. 

“Harry!” Louis yelled. “You were fucking incredible up there - a true star” he said spilling some of his beer. 

“Niall...”Harry scolded. “You got him wasted” 

Niall put his hands up. “Not my fault he’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol consumption” he smirked

“Oi” Louis protested. “I’m not a weight light....light-light...light weight” he slurred. 

Harry smiled. “It’s ok Louis, no one can out drink Niall.”

“True” Niall stated with a shit eating grin. 

“Can I get you a drink Harry?” Niall asked. 

“Maybe just one. I think Louis needs to get home”. 

“I’m fiiiiiiine” Louis said eyes drooping. Harry scoffed. “Whatever you say Louis” 

Harry took a seat next to Niall and accepted the beer he had poured for him. “Great set tonight Haz” Niall said. “You sounded the best I’ve ever heard you” 

Louis was only half listening as Niall and Harry chatted away. His eyes were starting to feel so heavy, so he rested his head on the bar and closed his eyes, just for a second. 

Niall looked over and cackled “Lightweight!” He scoffed

Harry smiled. 

“We’ve talked a lot tonight” Niall continued “He seems like a decent bloke”

Harry looked over at the sleeping Louis. “Yeah” he agreed easily. 

“He loves you you know” Niall said. Harrys breath hitched. “Do you think so?” He asked

“Of fucking course Haz. It shines out of him like a fucking beacon!” He said. “Seems to genuinely want to fix things too”

“Yeah?” Asked Harry

“Yeah.” Said Niall “Look Haz, I’m a pretty good judge of character and even better at reading people - you have to be in this job, so let me tell you one thing. That sleeping lightweight there loves you to bits. He looks at you like you hung every star in the fucking sky - and don’t even get me started about the sexual chemistry between the two of you. You were all the way over there on the stage and he was all the way over here talking to me, and we were in a room full of people but I could feel it pulsing out of the two of you. It’s quite uncomfortable for me to witness actually...” Niall said with a teasing grin. 

Harry snorted. 

“You should get him home Haz, before he throws up on my bar”. 

“Harry downed his beer and stood up “Thanks Niall. I really appreciate you taking the time to become friends with him”. 

“No problem Haz. As I said, he’s actually a really great guy. I think we’ll have a lot of fun together.” Niall smiled. “But if he hurts you, he’s dead” he added. 

Harry pulled him into a hug. “Love you Nialler”. 

“Love you back Harry. Now get this lightweight home”

————————-

Louis woke with a pounding headache, a mouth dry as the Sahara and the light burning his eyes. He stirred slightly and felt his stomach roll with nausea. “Fuck” he groaned rubbing his eyes. He realised he was in an unfamiliar bed and he cracked his eyes open a little to look around. Where the fuck was he? He sat up to look around before deciding that wasn’t a good idea. His stomach clenched violently and Louis panicked. He was going to throw up. He looked around wildly looking for a bathroom which he gratefully saw to the left of the bed. He leapt up and ran to the toilet where he proceeded to vomit up the rest of last nights beer. Groaning he stood up, washed his face with some cold water and borrowed some toothpaste that he found on the sink to clean his teeth with his finger. He ducked his head down to drink some water from the tap to rinse his mouth when he heard someone clear their throat.

He looked up to find Harry leaning against the door jamb with a cup of tea in his hand. 

“You ok Louis” Harrys deep voice drawled.

“Been better” Louis grimaced. Harry chuckled. 

“I made you some tea”he said holding out the steaming cup.

“Fuck, you’re a lifesaver” Louis said reaching out for the cup. “What happened last night?” Louis asked nervously

“We fucked like rabbits. Don’t you remember?”  
Louis choked on his tea.

“Just kidding” Harry grinned. “You passed out at the bar, and could barely walk so I brought you home to my place as it was just around the corner. You slept in my bed”  
Louis’ eyes flicked nervously over to the bed. 

“I slept on the couch” Harry added. 

“Oh” Louis said disappointedly. “Well, Sorry to be a nuisance” 

“It was no problem Louis. It was the least I could do since it was Niall’s fault you got so drunk”

Louis grimaced. “Sorry about that too”

“Don’t be” Harry said. “He likes you you know?”

“He does?” Louis asked incredulously

“Yeah. He only gets drunk with people he likes!” Harry smirked.

Harry’s eyes began raking over Louis. He looked down to find that he was wearing nothing but his boxers. His cheeks heated but he didn’t move to cover himself up. He liked the way Harry was looking at him. The silence stretched on, the tension growing with every second. Harry finally cleared his throat and looked away. 

“I’ve -uh- made you some breakfast if you are interested?” He rasped

“Uh, that’d be great” Louis replied huskily. “I’ll just get dressed”

“I’ve put some clean clothes of mine on the bed for you. You might want to wear those instead, as yours has a fair bit of beer spilt on them” Harry said 

“Thanks. I’ll just -uh- pop them on then” Louis said walking over to Harry who was still leaning in the doorway. Harry didn’t move out of the way, so Louis was forced to squeeze past. Harry watched his every move, his eyes dark. Louis couldn’t breathe. 

Once Louis had reached the bed, Harry turned and left him to it. “I’ll see you in a minute” he rasped. 

——————

Louis came out of the bedroom to find Harry piling up two plates with scrambled eggs and bacon. Harrys eyes were still dark and they looked Louis up and down and Louis could feel the tension in the air. 

“Good timing” Harry said quietly. “Grab a seat” he said gesturing to the kitchen table. Harry placed the plate full of food in front of Louis, before going back to bring another steaming mug of tea over. Louis took it gratefully. They ate in relative silence mainly because Louis felt like he couldn’t breathe, the air suddenly becoming too thick to take in. Harry was looking at him like he was a full course meal, and his eyes were so dark, there was no green left, causing Louis to fidget under his intense gaze. Once they’d both finished Louis hastily stood up and cleared the plates. “That was great Harry, just what the doctor ordered” he said stiffly as he walked over to the sink. He felt Harrys eyes on him, heating his skin, so Louis swung his hips just that little bit as he walked. When he turned back from the sink, Harry was there. Louis was shoved roughly back against the bench and caged in, Harry placing both of his hands on the bench beside Louis’ hips. He leaned in and whispered roughly in Louis’ ear “you look fucking amazing in my clothes...and fucking amazing out of them too”  
Louis’ audibly gasped. He felt like he was drowning under the onslaught that was Harry. Harry pulled back slightly to look Louis in the eyes, before dropping his gaze to Louis’ lips. Harry leaned in slowly giving Louis ample time to back away. Louis could feel Harry’s hot breath on his face as he ever so slowly inched forward. Louis wasn’t sure he was breathing at all. Harry paused millimeters from Louis’ lips and there he waited. Louis wasn’t sure who closed the gap, but suddenly they were engaged in a heated and bruising kiss. Harrys hands found their way to Louis’ back, where they roamed freely, burning Louis’ skin through the flimsy T-shirt. Louis parted his legs to give Harry room to move closer and Harry never hesitated. He thrust his leg between Louis’ and ground his hips on Louis’ thigh. Louis groaned when he felt Harrys hard on push against his thigh. Louis’ small hands lifted the hem of Harrys T-shirt desperate to find bare skin, Harry moaning at the contact. Breathless and panting, Harry broke the kiss. Louis almost whimpered at the loss of contact. With desperate hands, Louis grabbed Harrys hips and switched their position, latching onto his neck and sucking a deep bruise there. Harry’s big hands grasped onto Louis’ arse and pulled him impossibly closer, grinding onto his thigh. 

“Louis...” Harry growled. “Can I - ah - can we go to the bedroom please?” 

Louis smiled into Harry’s neck. Harry was always polite. 

“Only if you’re sure Harry” 

“Never been surer of anything in my life” Harry said. And with that, he pushed away from the bench and tapped the back of Louis thighs. In response Louis leapt into Harry’s arms wrapping his legs tightly around Harry’s waist. 

“Hurry up then Styles” Louis teased

“Oh no, I’m going to take my time with you” Harry replied huskily. 

————————  


Two months, 16 dates and four difficult emotional discussions later, Harry and Louis were curled up together in bed one Sunday morning, both feeling lazy after a particularly energetic wake up call. Harry turned to Louis and cupped his face gently. 

“You know what Lou?”

“What?” Louis replied lazily. 

“I think we’re going to make it” Harry whispered. 

Louis smiled “Me too Harry. Me too” 

Looks like we made it  
Look how far we’ve come my baby  
We mighta took the long way  
We knew we’d get there someday

—————————-


End file.
